Fa-La-La-La-Lame

Christmas is nigh, which means the old Christmas songs are playing, pretty much 24/7. (At my house they play 24/365 because Michelle is such a Christmas Song Junky!)

This series will highlight my least favorite seasonal tunes...

THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY.

Oh, where to begin with this one?

Obviously the grave droning of "rruumm, pum, pum,pum" immediately identifies this tune as worthy of the severest derision. Oh, how serious the "rruumm-pummers" are. This is obviously very important information, people!

But the "rruumm-pum" thing is just part of it.

The story of this song is that a "little drummer boy" stops by the manger right after Christ is born, and lacking any present, he plays his drum.

What the..?

Number one: In which of the gospels is this recorded? None of them! This is right up there with those depictions of Santa praying at the manger. ARRRGH! Why not have Frosty and Rudolph pay their respects as well?

Number two: Some neighborhood kid banging a drum next to a newborn? I don't think anyone would be "smil[ing] at him" as the song suggests.

Conclusion: This song blows. What sort of mass hypnosis is at play that makes this so dear to so many peoples' hearts? I can't figure it out...